Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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