I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
