dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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