yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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