I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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