i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
