can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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