Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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