please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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