I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Even my vagina gasped.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
