I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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