come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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