FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
