return my video game
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
