so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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