Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
