Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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