Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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