your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
