Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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