My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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