I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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