Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
