Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
