it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
