some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drunk is not a location!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
