One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
