Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
