drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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