just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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