I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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