dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
