when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
