used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
