Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
