Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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