Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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