Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Even my vagina gasped.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Shame - the story of my life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
