WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
