I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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