I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
