Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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