we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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