Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Farmville is her only friend.
this will be a night to untag.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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