I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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