So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
