singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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