Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
