Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
