I bet he comes in French.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
