i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
