Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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